For the love of God- yes. Everything Ilya states here is spot-on. I am a 60 year old woman, happily married for 35 years, and this is great advice. Similar to advice I give my kids and younger friends. It works. Be brave, be bold and get out there, guys. You can do this!!
Fair point that both sexes look for desireable matches, but here's one possible explanation:
On average, men are more likely to be seeking sex without wanting to commit to a long-term relationship. Thus they prioritize looks. Women are looking for long-term relationships and prioritize status and/or character.
Obviously these are sweeping generalizations, though I think the empirical pattern of men being more open to sex without commitment holds. And I agree that desiring a sexy woman is not "evil," but seeking sex without any intention to commit to a long-term relationship arguably is. I expect that mindset is what is being objected to; prioritizing looks just correlates with such a goal.
Sure, the few men that can get a lot of casual sex may be less likely to commit, because 'men just are like that'. But as you write yourself the context here is that everyone is in the market for mariage not for casual sex. As you wrote yourself, the men we are reasonably talking about here: Nerdy successfullish men are not as a group andvantaged with regard to the kinds of women they may want to date/marry. So the remark is just lazy bashing, which is all is objected to.
I have even better advice: travel internationally, especially to developing countries. The USA is home to both the highest percentage of obese population (about half of them women) and the richest people (mostly men!) in the world...both making the dating prospects of men harder. Not to mention the corrosive feminist culture.
Dating internationally fundamentally changes all of that.
I have written and am writing a lot about modern dating. All of this advice is solid... but for most men it will be insufficient. We can imagine a situation in which the romantic conceptions of a critical mass of women (chemistry, princess treatment, financial support) become so detached and maladaptive that the dating market becomes seriously distorted, and monogamy essentially collapses. We can imagine a situation in which competing priorities (masculine... but emotionally labile and flexible; a leader... but one who makes no demands and gives no orders) become so incoherent that many young women essentially become disconnected from the reality of human interaction, making them prey for manipulators and love-bombers.
I'm not sure if we're there yet... but we're damn sure moving in that direction.
40% of kids were born to unmarried women last year. 14% of women aged 18-24 are producing explicit content on OnlyFans. I predict a lot of single men (and frustrated, confused women) among the next generation of Western citizens.
For the love of God- yes. Everything Ilya states here is spot-on. I am a 60 year old woman, happily married for 35 years, and this is great advice. Similar to advice I give my kids and younger friends. It works. Be brave, be bold and get out there, guys. You can do this!!
Fairly basic advice from Ilya but I suppose basic advice is what some people need.
Good advice!
But i am not going to lie i was actually offended by the dig at men in the end!
How exactly is the female status seeking better, than the male wish for a young, good looking partner?
Or for that matter the rationalist emphasis on genetics? Which is objectively just status seeking but "scientifically" grounded?
Because apparently it's always OK to insult men, but don't even think about insulting women
Fair point that both sexes look for desireable matches, but here's one possible explanation:
On average, men are more likely to be seeking sex without wanting to commit to a long-term relationship. Thus they prioritize looks. Women are looking for long-term relationships and prioritize status and/or character.
Obviously these are sweeping generalizations, though I think the empirical pattern of men being more open to sex without commitment holds. And I agree that desiring a sexy woman is not "evil," but seeking sex without any intention to commit to a long-term relationship arguably is. I expect that mindset is what is being objected to; prioritizing looks just correlates with such a goal.
Sure, the few men that can get a lot of casual sex may be less likely to commit, because 'men just are like that'. But as you write yourself the context here is that everyone is in the market for mariage not for casual sex. As you wrote yourself, the men we are reasonably talking about here: Nerdy successfullish men are not as a group andvantaged with regard to the kinds of women they may want to date/marry. So the remark is just lazy bashing, which is all is objected to.
Men who are seeking a lasting marriage, not just sex, do tend to be (rightfully!) selective about character as well.
I am not down with doing a humiliation ritual. Bring back arranged marriages. It saved everyone the time, money and headache.
Don't be afraid to go to Church. Character is what girls look for. Is he interested in more than himself?
This advice is so vague and generic. What “church” are you talking about? Catholic, Orthodox, one of the innumerable Protestant churches?
Churches are not all the same in their promotion of marriage as a social good.
One that believes a vow is a vow.
Again, very vague.
The one that matches your beliefs. He was talking about character, and it would be bad character to basically lie about your beliefs.
How can I get myself to believe?
“There’s much more to be said. A book could indeed be written about it.”
Bro,..
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FK901R8
You're basically saying, "be the right partner".
I recall a line in the film, "As good as it gets",
"You make me want to be a better man".
I have even better advice: travel internationally, especially to developing countries. The USA is home to both the highest percentage of obese population (about half of them women) and the richest people (mostly men!) in the world...both making the dating prospects of men harder. Not to mention the corrosive feminist culture.
Dating internationally fundamentally changes all of that.
I have written and am writing a lot about modern dating. All of this advice is solid... but for most men it will be insufficient. We can imagine a situation in which the romantic conceptions of a critical mass of women (chemistry, princess treatment, financial support) become so detached and maladaptive that the dating market becomes seriously distorted, and monogamy essentially collapses. We can imagine a situation in which competing priorities (masculine... but emotionally labile and flexible; a leader... but one who makes no demands and gives no orders) become so incoherent that many young women essentially become disconnected from the reality of human interaction, making them prey for manipulators and love-bombers.
I'm not sure if we're there yet... but we're damn sure moving in that direction.
40% of kids were born to unmarried women last year. 14% of women aged 18-24 are producing explicit content on OnlyFans. I predict a lot of single men (and frustrated, confused women) among the next generation of Western citizens.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/its-a-womans-duty-to-choose-well
How can I find a girl like me, college dropout, not much of a career, but smart, mentally stable etc? I suppose that's rare
Or if you get too frustrated by being rejected by girls there is always guys.
How can I get myself to be gay?
SHEER STRENGTH OF WILL.
(Ok, u got me i was joking)